The "M" Word

The "M" Word

As women, we tend not to talk too openly or comfortably about the “M” word. And by “M” – I don’t mean marriage, motherhood, menstruation or menopause. I’m talking about… brace yourselves…. Masturbation. There are many reasons why self-love is important in our lives but after ‘a certain age’, it becomes more important than ever. That’s good news, right?

4 Reasons to self-love after 40

Whether you’ve been a lifelong enthusiast or are new to the concept, making space for self-pleasure in midlife has numerous benefits. Here’s why masturbation deserves a place in your self-care routine after 40:

1. Just you and your G-spot

Hormonal and physical changes after 40 can shift your sexual experience. Or, in my case, put your libido on the “MIA” list.  Masturbation helps you tune into these changes, from altered sex drive to new sensations. It allows you to focus on and understand your body better, offering a perfect opportunity for self-rediscovery.

2. This time, you go first!

Whether you’re single or partnered, masturbation is a vital form of self-love. Sex educator, the late Betty Dodson emphasized that women are "bottomless pits of sexual pleasure." Masturbation lets you explore what brings you joy, and, believe it or not, fosters self-reliance while enhancing our overall well-being. It’s a powerful gift to know you can access pleasure on your own terms. We all remember what happened when Charlotte discovered the “Rabbit”, right?

3. Better body health

Regular vaginal stimulation from masturbation boosts blood flow and lubrication, combating the dryness that often accompanies hormonal changes. We also tend to lose sensitivity in our clitoris making it hard to reach orgasm for some of us.  Keeping “Doris” active is beneficial for your physical health and comfort.

4. My favourite way to alleviate anxiety and stress

Perimenopause can bring anxiety about sexual health, but masturbation can be reassuring. Sounds like a weird thing to say but orgasms release oxytocin, a hormone that promotes calm and well-being. This natural stress reliever can also help with insomnia, making it a great addition to your bedtime routine.

Masturbation in midlife not only supports our physical health but it also fosters emotional and psychological well-being which can suffer as we reach menopause.  It’s a personal and powerful way to enhance your life, offering benefits that extend beyond the bedroom. Although I would suggest not shouting it out from the rooftops for fear of noise complaints.


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